Nobody in America

So, I’m at the grocery store, and there on the racks at the checkouts sits magazine after magazine touting their scandalous stories about celebrities and their private lives. For starters, nobody in America reads magazines. In fact, nobody in America reads at all. Everyone listens to their mp3 players instead. I am spot on again.

So this morning while I am eating my oatmeal, I stumble across a Website that lists all the holidays in this country. Then I see that today, January 28, is National Cazoo Day. I laughed. Nobody in America has a cazoo, in fact, nobody in America would play with one, nor do they even know what one is. That holiday needs to be cancelled out.

So today at work, the long que of annoying songs played on and on. Among the worst was one sang by Peter Gabriel. Nobody in America knows who he is, likes his music, or wants to hear any of that noise he spews. Everyone listens to Waylon Jennings. Did I really say that?

So yesterday I am driving through the country enroute to meet my sister for church and dinner afterwards. On my way, I see a bowling alley off to the right. That struck me as odd; Nobody in America even bowls anymore. In fact, the only reason anybody even goes to a bowling alley is to sit around and drink coffee. Wow, did I ever nail that one or what?

So today I am walking through Lowes and I see The Farmers Almanac sitting on the store rack. It’s the 2013 edition. I wonder why they even print that thing anymore because nobody in America even reads that anymore. In fact, nobody in America
reads anything at all anymore! Everyone plays Nintendo wii or something during their free time instead. I am absolutely right on this one.